A few years ago, I took a six-month contract working as stage crew on a cruise ship. Other than the hard work, rampant sexism, and deep and soul-crushing depression, it was really fun!
I was working as Stage Crew, which meant that I spent half of my time in the theatre, setting up for our thrice-nightly dance shows and handling props and set pieces for those shows, and half of my time running around the ship setting up cameras and projectors and teaching people how to right-click in Powerpoint. (It’s really not that hard a program to use, people!!!)
Now, a lot of my coworkers loved their jobs. I met some awesome friends who I still follow on Facebook, which we all know is the modern version of “Man, I liked that guy. I wonder whatever happened to him?” I got to see the world, or at least many parts of it that are directly connected to water. I saw relatives I’d never met in Argentina, snorkled in a fish sanctuary in Hawaii, and played paintball under the mountains of Alaska. Every moment I spent off of the ship was magical. The moments on the ship, on the other hand?…
Here’s my description of life working on a cruise ship: the relationships are like high school, the sex is like college, and everything else is like prison.
So, I decided to write a short book on how to survive life at sea. I disseminated it to family members during the holidays while I was away, so they could see what my life had been like over the time I was gone. Now I translate that guide for you, dear readers, until I run out of chapters. Welcome to my weekly how-to on survival in the deep blue!
Come back next week for chapter one: An Introduction