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finditforyou.Steprightup,steprightup,comecloser,norequestoosmall,no
productwecan’tfindforyou!
Hello sir, please step closer, what can I find for you? Have you lost your true love and you need another? Want to trade some of those potent memories for a dash of oblivion? How about hats! I have red hats, white hats, blue hats, hats made of live birds, hats you can use to survive in the desert for forty years, hats that look good with any outfit. Even the one you’re wearing right now.
Not right for you? Ah, no, of course, I should have seen by the cut of your ascot that you’re a discerning fellow, forgive me. It’s power that you’re after, I’d bet my left glove on it, got this from a fellow in the far East, they used to belong to the Sultan of Azkabar, don’t ask how it travelled so far, and finding the hat to match was no easy task, but when you put all three together you can create a windstorm large enough to shift a camel from your neighbour’s field to yours and wipe the brand off to boot. Ah, pardon me, I digress, and I see your impatience in the stamp of your boot. Was it not power you wanted?
Destiny, then? Ahh, I see the light has gone on in your eyes, and might I say they are beautiful eyes, I have some glasses here that – but no, you are a determined man, and destiny is a finicky thing, we should begin right away.
Does this strike your fancy? A rod and sceptre from an ancient Mayan king whose name has been lost but whose destiny it was to rule his people wisely and justly. He brought them great prosperity, and was loved in his time, with a wife and many happy children, but his grandchildren had already forgotten his name, and history does not remember him. So too would be your destiny – great love, great respect, but total obscurity after you are gone. No?
Ahh, perhaps you are more interested in infamy than destiny. Strike this gong once, and you will feared as no man has been. Ah, I have piqued your interest, perhaps, though you pretend to turn away? Wives you will have, who will come crying to your bed, and children to sweep the earth with. Wars you will fight, and blood will dye your skin, and when your death comes it will be at the hands of your enemies, screaming, and a thousand years later children will still shiver when they hear your name. Do not look so shocked, sir – many a destiny such as this have I sold, and many men have been feared in their times. No, no, of course, if that is not the destiny you seek – no, please, sir, I am sure I have the destiny for you. Tell me, tell me. A great poet? A famed lover? An old man, dying in his sleep?
Ahh. No, don’t tell me. Let me guess. I see a picture. An old man sits beside a comfortable fire. Beside him, a woman reads a book, turning the pages slowly, a smile on her lips. In the next room are the sounds of children yelling, laughing, and their parents biding them to mind. A cat licks a lazy paw on the window sill, the smell of cooking dinner coming to all three from the next room. There are pictures on the walls, photos on the mantle, knick knacks of long lives on shelves around the room. Ahh, I see your misty eyes, the smile you have been hiding. Is this what you seek, sir?
I do not have it.
No, sir, I have told you that I have everything, and it is true that everything is for sale. I can sell you a wife, sir, who will love you as no other can, or a home, sir, that you can say you have built with your bare hands. I can sell you potency to bring you children, money to bring you comfort, but I cannot sell you a life well lived. It is happiness you seek, sir, from knowing you have done well, lived well, and that, sir, only you can bring.
Thank you for shopping, sir, and I wish you well. Before you go – can I recommend a hat?
Image courtesy of Kieran Macanulty. Check out Kieran’s website, Purple Sock Studios, or read more about him on Our Contributors Page.